Fear! Failure! These two words must never hold you down; you must break free because they are capable of tying you down, they are limitations.
I’ll be sharing my personal story of how these things kept me bound for a long time, and how I got the strength to break off, and how I’m still constantly overcoming some of these fears and failures.
Growing up, I had many limiting beliefs such as: I’m not good enough, I cannot be accepted, everyone is better than me, I cannot achieve anything good, etc. I was always filled with negatives, and statements I made was often laced with ‘I can’t’- this was my mantra. Coupled with these were bouts of self-esteem issues I had to grapple with. I always tried to fit in and feel among, which never worked well for me.
I think it all started when I had to repeat a class in primary school because I could not read well, and I was not catching up fast with my peers. The picture remains vivid how the teacher humiliated me before my mates (it was really bad) before I was taken back to the class I was to repeat. The feelings of inadequacy followed me on, and I often looked down on myself with the mind of ‘you don’t know anything and you can’t do anything’ worthwhile.
As stated earlier, I usually wanted to fit in, hence before I do anything, I’ll always think of what people will say or how people will feel and in the long run I end up not doing what I wanted to do. I usually awaited people’s validation before going ahead.
All these held me bound, and I’d rather remain in my shell than allowing anyone seeing me in a new light. I also loved to remain in my comfort zone- doing only things I’m used to, and what people know me with, not trying out new stuffs because I was usually afraid of failure. I love to do things once and get it once, I was more of a perfectionist.
Long story short. So how did I overcome all these limiting feelings and fears? I started being conscious of my thought pattern- I decided to be positive about life rather than being negative, an optimist rather than being a pessimist. Little by little, I stopped allowing people’s opinion about me and what people feel or say get to me- I practically developed a thick skin to whatever was not going to have positive effect on me.
Aside that I decided to be more intentional and live with a sense of purpose, rather than having a sense of belonging. I had to remind myself that I’m not a failure, and there is a reason for my being on earth which must be fulfilled. I had and do have friends that believe in me even when I was giving up hope, and those that inspire me to do what I love to do.
Most importantly, when I am in my lowest estate, I have a Father who I can cry to and seek for help even in times I feel He is far away ( but He is always close by- He said: I’ll never leave you nor forsake you’).
There are still times I sort of feel inadequate, but I do not linger in such feelings, I pick up myself and look for every reason to feel good. It is a process and I’m enjoying the process of becoming the Woman God wants me to be.
In the process, there is usually the breaking and moulding stage; adapt to each stage and in the end you will come out better for it.
You may be out there,being overwhelmed by fears and past failures, break off from them and spread out your wings and fly to your highest height. Above all, when you’ve broken off, don’t feel you have arrived, seek to grow. Let your goal be to keep growing till you die or till Christ comes.
Life is in stages, enjoy each stage free from the chains of fear and limiting beliefs. Whoever you think you are is who you will eventually become.
If you think negative, you’ll be negative and if you think positive; you’ll be positive. Change your thought today!