Inferiority complex was something I battled with right from my days in primary school, secondary school and shortly after I gained admission to the university. I can’t really point to how it started exactly, but all I know is that many things happened in my life that are factors; from being sent back to my previous class for inability to read, and being publicly embarrassed by a teacher for not wearing my shoes properly as a primary 2 student, my many average scores in junior secondary school, and a desire to fit in and just be accepted by people.
I was an extremely shy person and never wanted to relate with anyone because I felt I was not up to their standard and would therefore be rejected. I was more of a follower of people’s opinion about me and what I thought about myself mattered less. Lest I forget, I was a bunch of negative; I hardly said anything good: my statements were often laced with ‘I can’t’ amongst others. It was so bad I saw myself as no good because I constantly compared myself with people around.
I’m so glad I’m walking out of it and over time building my confidence, and I’d love you to take this journey along with me as we begin a new year, and even beyond the new year.
According to Wikipedia, inferiority complex is the lack of self-worth, a doubt and uncertainty about oneself, and feelings of not measuring up to standards. The dictionary makes us understand that it is the feeling that one is inferior to others in certain aspect.
Inferiority complex may have been developed as a result of a faulty foundation during childhood, for instance: bullying, living with judgmental and critical people, or exposure to negative information. It could also be developed at an older age due to inability to fulfill goal set, which eventually results in feelings of inadequacy.
Inferiority complex is capable of limiting a person as s/he is unable to explore his/her potentials due to feelings of inadequacy or rejection. It also goes a long way in affecting a person’s relational skill: s/he finds it difficult to have healthy relationships for fear of being judged by others. It also affects a person in work related environment as such person may find it difficult to relate freely with colleagues.
To have a productive and balanced life, it is expedient that we check out from this unhealthy habit, as well as strike a healthy balance so as to avoid getting to the other extreme of superiority complex. The main goal is to develop a healthy self-esteem that speaks for you wherever you find yourself.
So what are the steps to checking out of inferiority complex in 2018, and on a larger scale, beyond 2018.
LOCATE THE ROOT OF YOUR INFERIORITY COMPLEX.
As stated earlier, it could have started at a young age or at a more advanced age. In my case, it began while I was a lot younger. I faced embarrassment, had failures and in some cases rejection. This followed me till I was in the university, as I constantly felt inadequate and of no use. I never believed I could do well in whatever I set my heart to because I did not have much achievements until I was in senior secondary school which did not change much. Finding the reason for your being inferior will give you a headway on how to overcome it.
DEAL WITH THE ROOT OF YOUR INFERIORITY COMPLEX.
You don’t just stop at locating the root. Nothing much will happen if you just locate it and leave it there. The best it does is that it gives you the idea of a problem, but it doesn’t solve the problem. The next important step is to deal with the root of your problem. Perhaps, you found out that the source of your inferiority complex is as a result of comparing yourself with others, excessive desire to be like others, fear of what others think about you, focusing on your flaws more than you do your strengths, and what have you. In my case, I used to compare myself a lot, want to be like people I feel are better than me, as well as fear of what people think or will say about me.
What you have to do is to consciously do the opposite of the cause of your inferiority complex. If you compare yourself with people a lot, make a deliberate effort to stop it. If yours is fear of what people might think about you, ingrain it in your subconscious that what others might think doesn’t matter, and it is only what you think about yourself that matters. Here, you need to have positive thoughts about yourself for this to yield positive results.
DETERMINE TO DEVELOP A HEALTHY SELF ESTEEM.
Having dealt with the source of the inferiority complex, the next thing is not to relapse, but to build your self-esteem to a healthy level where it speaks well for you. Developing a healthy self-esteem is not going to be an easy one because of past thoughts ingrained in your subconscious that has to be consciously exhumed.
In developing a healthy self-esteem, you have to make a deliberate effort to work on yourself, thoughtfully uprooting negative thoughts planted in your subconscious and discreetly implanting positive thoughts in your mind. You also need to surround yourself with positive people, because the type of people you surround yourself with will affect the rate of your growth. There is also the need to improve your social interactions with people, as well as confront your fears.
With this few tips, I know we are well equipped to ditch inferiority complex, while embarking on a journey to building a healthy self-esteem.