“Tola, I’ve found husband for you o, since you’ve refused to bring one home”, mama Tola shouted from the kitchen in the typical African mother’s way. Tola was already fed up of her mother’s constant nagging and today wasn’t a good day for her.
Ignoring the old woman, she plugged her ears with her earpiece and pretended to be asleep. Storming into her room, mama Tola was irritated by the sore sight. She chose to ignore the and faced Tola. “See you, clean you will not clean, work you will not work, money you don’t have, you will just lie down like a big obese fool and keep piling up fat. Is this how you’ll behave when you go to the house of the husband I found for you?” Saying this, she stormed out leaving Tola to lick her wounds.
Tola barely clocked 25 some few months back and the major thoughts that have clouded her mind was when she’ll walk down the aisle and say “I do” to her heartthrob. Unfortunately, she doesn’t seem to have luck with guys and her nonchalant attitude wasn’t helping matters. Thinking on her mother’s words, she gave her life a second thought and changed for good. Shortly afterwords, men began to hover around her like bees hover around honey.
A question on the mind of many who are termed ‘old enough’ for marriage is “when will I say ‘I do’?” though they are not ready in any way. They think marriage is something they can just walk into without necessary preparation.
“When will I say ‘I do’ should be a question of preparation, and not a question of pressure. When the question pops in your mind, use it to test your level of preparedness for the lifelong journey of marriage you are about to embark on. ‘I do’ is much more than a statement you utter that ends at the marriage altar. It is a pledge for life till death.
Preparing for marriage can be likened to a stage of tilling and uprooting weeds for a successful planting and plentiful harvest. How then are we to prepare before ‘I do’?
There is a spiritual undertone to everything in life, and marriage is not an exception. Marriage is equally a spiritual exercise as it is physical. Preparing in the place of prayer is laying a foundation for the edifice you want to build. Your foundation determines how weak or strong your marriage will be. Not to scare you, the devil is going around seeking homes to destroy and you can only fight him in prayers. You begin to make your preparations long before you think of getting married.
If all you do is to pray without putting certain things in place for your marriage, the chances of your marriage adding to the divorce statistics is high. Do you know your health status? How domesticated are you? What plans do you have for a roof over your head and your family? Jumping into marriage without any physical plan is like building your castle in the air. Before you know it, it will crash.
The picture of the kind of marriage you have in mind is the architectural plan of the marriage you will build. Mental preparation may include having to change some wrong philosophies and ideologies you have long embraced about marriage. It includes having to read good books that will shape your view on marriage the God way. It would involve you having to embrace the concept of leaving your friends and family to cleave to your spouse. Mental preparation also has to do with how matured you are in handling situations, not necessarily how old you are.
What financial plan do you have on ground to keep the engine of your marriage running? How concrete is the plan and can it accommodate third parties (children)? What strategies have you put in place to manage finance so it doesn’t drive a wedge between you and your spouse? How much of financial literacy have you acquainted yourself with? If you wouldn’t want your marriage to go sour because of financial crisis, you sure must make solid financial preparations to keep your marriage going. Don’t make financial plans for your wedding only.
OVER TO YOU.
There are other preparations that need to be put in place for a successful marriage which are not covered in this post. Do you know them? Please share with us in the comment box. Thank you.
P.S: Preparations are for men and women alike.