Marriage is 100% physical just as it is 100% spiritual, and physical intimacy is an important aspect of marriage. Asides other very relevant reasons people get married, what else do people get married for? To be intimate, physically! If marriage is just for companionship, then there’s no need for marriage as platonic friendships would do.
People jokingly say signing those dotted lines authorize the couple to start doing what is made for the marriage confines only. All this is just to emphasize on how important physical intimacy is in marriage. Here, I won’t share what you will find in the books. I’ll talk from experience only.
A lot of times, physical intimacy affects largely other areas of a marriage. Just like every other thing, it requires intentionality so that it becomes the norm in the home.
First, if intimacy is left only for when you want to have sex, it would become robotic and less interesting. You and your spouse are for each other alone, granted, but if you do not make efforts to spice things up over time, you may begin to make that aspect of the marriage boring. So, I’ll highlight some practical things below:
This is one very beautiful experience on its own, especially done when you are both bare and under covers. Sometimes, after a long day, it’s possible that one spouse may be too tired to have sex but cuddling does a lot of wonders. It makes you both very intimate and most times often leads to sex because you can’t seem to resist the effect that cuddling does. So as much as possible, cuddle.
If you have a child or children who co-sleep with you and your spouse, you can sneak out to the next room and cuddle when your child or children are asleep.
Also, because this blog seeks to address couples in different living situations, even if you live in a room and you have very young children that are DEEP SLEEPERS, once they are asleep, you and your spouse can cuddle in a different space away from them. If you have children, they shouldn’t be the reason for losing the intimacy in your marriage
KISS FOR KISSING SAKE
In the first year of the marriage, this may be constant because you can’t seem to get enough of each other. Don’t take this for granted and imagine that this would just happen by itself through the next 5 years and over without making efforts to keep this consistent. Don’t just initiate a kiss just because you want to have sex.
Kiss even without sex in mind. It makes you more intimate plus there are loads of benefits from kissing. Some people out of being groomed in a pious environment feel awkward kissing their spouses but this shouldn’t be so.
Your spouse is the one and only person you should be this intimate with, so, enjoy kissing each other- morning breath or not, before you brush, after, any time you want. You have to be intentional about it till it becomes the norm in your home. I could go on but let me stop here on this.
OTHER FORMS OF BODY CONTACT
Hugs, holding hands, sitting on the laps, leaning on each other’s shoulders and the likes. Explore all of these and more. Even your children would always have their faces lit up seeing you do these. It is very healthy. If you think negative thoughts about things like this, you would be surprised when they learn the unhealthy forms of these outside the home. So be comfortable to do these at home. Note: JUST THESE and not sex in front of them! Don’t misconstrue me. Thank you.
This is me trying to capture an entire book content in a paragraph. Enjoy having sex. Sex isn’t only for when you want to have children and it’s not an act that becomes occasional over time. It is a precious gift to explore in your marriage.
Also, most people assume that the woman’s duty is to ensure her husband is sexually satisfied and it doesn’t matter if she gets any satisfaction. It matters! Please seek to give each other full satisfaction. The aim should be to enjoy each other and the other benefits like orgasm would come with it. There are many books dedicated to exploring in depth the subject of sex.
You can invest in them and both discuss about what you learn from them and try out new things often. Sex should never be used as a reward. There’s a difference between candy and food. Sex is food, not candy.
I hope that these few tips are insightful. Thank you for putting them to mind and practice. God bless you.
WRITTEN BY: JULIET AMBALI
Bio: Juliet Ambali had her first and second degree in English language because of her passion for writing but then she is more passionate about living life intentionally and she loves everything marriage related and believes the home front needs the right amount of attention for a better nation. She is the wife to a blessed man who has been a huge support system and a mother to an adorable daughter.