Disclaimer: This post doesn’t aim to encourage women to disrespect their husbands. It’s a biblical command for women to submit to and reverence their own husbands just as they would submit to Christ.

It’s a cliché that women want to feel loved, while men want to be respected. World over, respect is a big deal for men. They do not handle disrespect too well. Respect is to men what love is to women, that’s why the Bible commands the woman to submit and the man to love.

Taking this common knowledge solitarily would not be balanced. No matter how men crave respect, it cannot be forced. You can’t coerce a person to respect you, and if at all you do, what you get is not respect, but slavish fear. That’s why another cliché says respect is reciprocal.

Respect is not cheap, and it won’t be handed over to you on a silver platter. You have to earn it. If you do not do things worthy of respect, you do not expect to get respected. If you want to be respected, you have to respect others. Every individual is worthy of respect because every one is created in God’s image, your wife inclusive.

Earning your wife’s respect as a man is important to maintaining a healthy and happy marriage. So, how do we go about this?

Do unto others as you want others to do unto you. That’s the golden rule. If you would love your wife to give you all the respect and honour you deserve, you also have to give her the respect she deserves. World over, women are often considered worthy of little honour and respect and has been reduced to an instrument to meet the needs of the man and the household. Respecting your wife is invariably you respecting yourself because whatever you do for your wife, you do for yourself. Respecting your wife means respecting her opinions, feelings, ideas, concerns, judgments, etc.

“Whosoever will be chief among you, let him be your servant.” (Matthew 20:26). Your wife knows and recognizes your headship in the home. You do not have to prove it by standing on the sidelines barking out commands at her. A servant-leader leads by example and inspires their followers to do things they will not otherwise do. The strength of character that defines servant-leaders inspires respect rooted in love and appreciation.

“Husbands, love your wives even as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for it… so ought men to love their wives as their OWN bodies.” (Ephesians 5:25, 28). Loving your wife is not in words only. Love is an action verb and it shows forth in the way you talk to her, treat her, meet all of her needs and cherish her. The easiest way to earn the respect of your wife is to lavish her with love and all other things will fall in place.

We all know the common saying that goes thus, “a promise is a debt…” No one ordinarily gives regard to a debtor. A by-product of integrity is the ability to fulfill a promise you make. Once your wife knows you stick to your words and you’re a man of integrity, respect comes along with the package. Any promise you know you won’t be able to fulfill, don’t make, so you’ll have nothing to break.

To conclude, these things don’t happen just like that. You have to be intentional about it. Above all, ask for grace from the Author of your marriage. Per adventure you have no relationship with Him, His arms are open wide to have you. Run into His embrace and have Him work things out for you.

What are those things men do to their wives that earn them respect? Do you know? Please tell us in the comment box. See you there!