Some days are like this. Empty, sullen and lonely. I knew I couldn’t wait to get home. To get into my room and shut myself down in tears. I simply walked like one in a haze, confused and uncertain at the result of the fifth pregnancy test. The warning of the doctor resounding in my head…
“If you try to abort this child, it’s your womb or your life”
“What will be of my life now?” I asked, staring blankly at the doctor, but I knew the question was mine to answer. My cross to bear.
I knew Chinedu will never accept responsibility of this pregnancy. I saw my period last month, but didn’t know it was not mensuration, just a “show”. We were overjoyed that our unprotected sex didn’t lead to conception. But we were wrong. This test has proved so.
“Gbemi, welcome” Adenike greeted me. It immediately occurred to me that I didn’t greet her when I came in.
“I just want to be left alone Nike, please”
” No problem. Just know you are not alone, I’m here…”
I broke down in tears before she finished her statement.
“Please cry it all out” she whispered into my ears, as she hugged me tight, absorbing all my tears on her shoulders.
* * * *
It’s five years now and I’m glad Nike was there, and indeed, now I’m no longer alone. The five years journey of being a single mother and completing my degree education in the University has been a very tough one, but for every moment of it, I’m grateful.
Grateful to God for his grace and sustainance. For daily he reassures me saying;
“Oluwagbemisola, Trust in me with all your heart, lean not upon your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge me and I will forever direct your path.”
Grateful to my parents for their forgiveness and willingness to support me as best as they can. The words they spoke to me two weeks after sharing the heart breaking news to them keeps me on till date;
“Gbemisola, To say that you disappointed us is an understatement but we won’t give up on you. God has a greater plan for your life. We will do our part to see that that this too comes to pass.” And that plan I’m working on fulfilling.
Grateful to my beautiful daughter-Ayobami; for being a source of Joy in my darkest moments and telling me through her smiles;
“Mummy, we are going to be just fine!”
Grateful to my one true friend-Nike, for being a friend indeed and proving her words to the latter;
“Gbemisola, you are not alone”
These words keeps me going and daily I plant the same words and more in the heart of my daughter and everyone I meet in need of one.
Written By: Goodness Odey