I would have loved to use a story to illustrate this point, but words fail me at this point. If all I can write in this blog post is just repeating the title over and over again, I’m sure it would pass across the message I seek to deliver. This is going to be a really short post, but I hope you get the necessary value that will shape your mindset and your marriage as a whole.

Many people enter marriage with the mindset that they will change their spouse and mould them to the shape they desire. This is a deadly mindset. You’re not the Holy Spirit who changes a man. You cannot also force change on someone who is not willing to change. The change may be behaviour or attitude. You have no power over someone’s will to change, even your spouse. Even God does not force change on someone, that’s why we are free moral agents. The only person who has the power to change a man is the man himself and the Holy Spirit.

Having this understanding, you know that the way you can ‘change’ your spouse is by changing yourself. That spouse you are willing to change is not perfect, so are you. When you work on changing yourself, you influence change in your spouse, and by this, both of you get changed.

That spouse you are willing to change is not perfect, so are you. When you work on changing yourself, you influence change in your spouse, and by this, both of you get changed. Click To Tweet

I’ll leave you with this. “I can’t change my spouse, but I can change me,” should be your matching song into marriage. Perhaps, if you’re married, let it be your home anthem. You can’t force change, you can only influence change.

I hope this adds value.