Husband X: Honey, please is the food ready? I’m damn hungry.
Wife X: A little more time, love. I’ll be done in a jiffy. Help yourself with a glass of pineapple juice in the freezer.
Husband X: All right, love. Just be fast.
Husband X surfs the internet as he waits for wife X to bring his food. This is the norm in their house. The only thing Husband X knows how to do in the kitchen is wash his plates, and this has been the way they have lived for the past 5 years. However, Husband X is the family laundry man. He enjoys drycleaning, in fact, that is his side business. Husband and Wife X have lived like this in harmony for the space of 5 years they’ve been together. Even in their finance, they operate separate accounts.
(Husband Y and Wife Y together in the kitchen)
Husband Y: Thank God the food is almost done. The worms in my stomach have been singing hallelujah chorus.
Wife Y: See your mouth. It’s only food you know. Anyway, let me get you something you can nibble on so the worms don’t eat up my husband’s intestine.
Husband Y: You’re not serious. At least, your husband that likes food knows how to cook, so…?
Wife Y: Hmm. Whatever. All I know is that you’re foodie.com. Anyway, thanks for always helping out in the kitchen. I love you.
Husband Y: I love you too.
In the home of Husband and Wife Y, everything is joint. From house chores, to finance, to business, they work together. They’ve always lived like this in peace for almost 6 years now and everybody is happy.
HOME Z (THE CONFUSED HOME)
Husband Z: Must I always assist you in the kitchen? Can’t you learn from our neighbour, Wife X? She alone prepares the dishes. Have you ever seen Husband X help out in the kitchen?
Wife Z: That’s the only one you chose to see now. Can’t you also learn from our other neighbour, Husband Y. I always see him in the kitchen with Wife Y. They do everything together, and I’ve never heard them argue like we always do.
Husband Z: Ehn. That is the business of Husband Y. He enjoys doing it, let him continue.
Wife Z: That is the business of Wife X too. She enjoys it, let her continue doing it.
Husband and Wife Z got married two months ago. They found themselves in the same neighbourhood with Home X and Y, and both couple are torn between whose blueprint to follow.
The issue of whose model to use in the home is the problem some marriages face. As two newlyweds from different homes, there is the tendency to bring in what you’re familiar with in your parents home into your new home. It doesn’t even have to be what was obtainable in your parent’s marriage, probably it is your own ideal of what your marriage should look like. This may not go down well with your spouse who has a different background or different ideals. If not probably managed, this little spark of misunderstanding can blow up into an inferno.
What then is the solution to this? First, you have to understand that no two marriages are the same. Even if it is a marriage where two identical twins of a family marry the two identical twins of another family, their marriage can never be identical. Secondly, you and your spouse will have to drop your individual bias and come to a consensus on what blueprint you’re to adopt in your home. It doesn’t have to be what your parents followed. It just has to be what is okay and convenient for the the harmony of your home.
The only thing that makes many marriages produce the same outcome, despite using different blueprints is the foundation on which that marriage is built. This foundation is Christ. There might be many blueprints, but there is only one manual- the Bible.The only thing that makes many marriages produce the same outcome, despite using different blueprints is the foundation on which that marriage is built. This foundation is Christ. There might be many blueprints, but there is only one… Click To Tweet