“Tolani, will you keep your mouth and shut and listen to me? I am your mother and whatever I say is final. When you’re no more under my roof, you can choose to behave as you like.”

“Mum, but try to understand me for once now! Everytime, you want me to follow your own ways as if I don’t have a mind of my own. At least, I’m not a mindless robot and I am old enough to know what’s best for me.”

“Tolani, I have said my own, and that is final. As long as you’re under my roof, you must do as I say. You’re just 20 and you’re already behaving like this, when you’re now 25, I will not even be able to talk to you abi?”

“That’s your own o, mummy. I hate how you use to behave self. You feel you’re the only one who is always correct, and I don’t have any thing good to say.”

“Tolani, you have become a rude child. The Bible says, “children, obey your parents. Honour your father and mother so that your days may be long.’ Have you forgotten what the Bible says? If you want your days to be long, better obey me. What I say is final.”

“But the same Bible also says, ‘parents should not provoke their children to wrath.”

“…do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them…” (Ephesians 4:6, NLT).


This is an aspect I think many parents seem to have overlooked. They feel it is not possible that they will do anything that can provoke their children to wrath. They seem to know best, and their judgments are most often the best. Well, I’m not a parent yet, but I’m a child, and as children we surely know that there are some things our parents will do to us that can get us annoyed. This has nothing to do with the normal discipline parents are expected to mete out to their children.

If it is not possible for parents to provoke their children to wrath, then, it would not have been recorded in the Bible that Fathers (parents) should not provoke their children to wrath. So, parents and parents to be, it is absolutely possible for you to act in manners towards you children that will provoke them to wrath. It is possible for you act overboard, it is possible that your judgment is wrong, and you’re not always right when dealing with your kids.

So as to be objective and to sample the thoughts of others, I posed a question on the things that parents do that provokes their children to wrath. There were responses given, and I’ll be sharing it here anonymously.

* Comparison. Either comparing them with their mates in the neighbourhood or their siblings can be so emotionally painful or annoying. This can make the child do what s/he never wanted to do.

* Don’t go out, don’t make friends (only your friends they like are validated). Their point of view is final, you don’t have a say.

* Monitoring them, controlling them in a selfish manner.

* High rate of misunderstanding, being opinionated.

* Comparing one child to the other, showing preference to one child or the other. Using foul languages, and blackmailing them with some words.

These are the responses, amongst many others were what I got from the survey. If you read keenly, you’ll observe that some things were repeated. It passes across a message.

One thing parents should understand is that they do not know what provokes their children to wrath, so, there is need for communication in this regards. While parents are given the authority and power to instill discipline, they are not to overstep the bounds and provoke their children.

Now, to the children. It is a command to us to honour our parents. Regardless of what is done to you by your parents, for the sake of the command given and the blessing attached, honour your parents. Remember, you will be a parent some day, you must also not make the mistake of provoking your children to wrath even if you were always provoked to wrath by your own parents. Don’t continue the chain of provoking your kids.

In all, let this be your take away from this post. Discipline your children appropriately, BUT, don’t provoke them to wrath in the way you treat them.

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Thanks to all those who took part in the survey. Much love!

Anything you want to add? Do so in the comment box. Let’s hear your views.