At the mention of intimacy, many minds go straight to the bedroom activities. Well, the reason is not farfetched. It seems to be the way our minds have been conditioned by our milieu. A comprehensive understanding of what intimacy is, and the different forms of intimacy will help us understand that intimacy goes beyond the bedroom. Intimacy as documented in the dictionary is, “feeling or atmosphere of closeness and openness towards someone else, not necessarily involving sexuality.” Though sexuality is a part of it, it is not all of it. The various forms of intimacy includes, emotional intimacy, intellectual intimacy, spiritual intimacy, recreational intimacy, financial intimacy, and physical intimacy.

Many of us focus on the physical aspect of intimacy while the other forms of intimacy are graced with neglect. Click To Tweet

Many of us focus on the physical aspect of intimacy while the other forms of intimacy are graced with neglect. This ought not be so if we seek to have a balanced and holistic marriage. Intimacy is not sex alone. It is a total package that may/should eventually culminate into the act of physical intimacy. It cuts across every area.

Suggested Read: The Three Legs Of Intimacy

Knowing this, how can we bring intimacy out of the four corners of the bedroom.

1) Connect with your spouse emotionally: This is a strong point for many women. Women love more of the emotional connection before giving in to the physica connection. This doesn’t mean men do not need a good dose of emotional intimacy. How can spouses be emotionally intimate? Be open and vulnerable to each other. Share your deepest thoughts and desires, your fears and your anxieties, and do this without holding back. Go on dates as a couple.

2) Grow through spiritual intimacy: A couple that will pray together will pray together will stick together. Though our spirituality should not override our sexuality, we should also be careful not to give more attention to our sexuality over and above our spirituality. Above all, let there be a balance. Building spiritual intimacy includes you both studying the Word and praying together amongst other spiritual activities.

3) Recreational intimacy is good for the body: A couple that shall obey the commandment of playing together shall reap the bounty of staying together. Let’s use Isaac as our case study. He was not ashamed of playing with his wife, even the king saw them one day while sporting (recreating). We know there is need for a sense of seriousness in life, but all seriousness and no play makes a couple a dull couple.

4) Intellectual intimacy: Couples should at least have a form of intellectual capacity that puts them on the same or almost the same pedestal. Rather than ‘play’ everytime, you can engage in intellectual discourse with your spouse, and even your kids (if any).  

5) Physical intimacy: To mention every other form of intimacy without mentioning this in a marriage relationship is to put a round peg in a square hole. Every other form of intimacy most often than not builds up to culminate into physical intimacy. But because physical intimacy is not sex alone, this can still happen outside the bedroom. How? Engage in non-sexual touches, share hugs, pecks and kisses, cuddle up, give surprises, play with your spouse’s hair, finger or anything you can play with.

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To make your home balanced, maintain evenness between intimacy in the bedroom and intimacy outside the bedroom. Click To Tweet

To make your home balanced, maintain evenness between intimacy in the bedroom and intimacy outside the bedroom. I’ll love to hear from YOU!