Dear Husbands,

It’s with great joy I write this letter to you, letting you know of the great responsibilities which has been set before you by the Father Himself. Have you not known and have you not heard of the order which has been laid out in Ephesians 5: 25 that husbands are to love their wives the way Christ loved the church in giving himself for the church?

Have you sat back to think deeply about this great comparison in the kind of love you are to show your wife? Do you also know that 1 Peter 3: 7 provides that husbands are to deal with their wives in knowledge, giving unto her as unto the weaker vessel? Well, now that you have known, I pray you receive grace to do.

Many homes will thrive better if many husbands follow the evergreen mandate they’ve been given by the Author of marriage. As a husband, you have the great responsibility of ensuring that your house is built according to pattern because you are the one who will be held responsible by God for any mishap. You may want to ask me why. You are the one God recognises as the leader of that home and He has delineated some powers in you and He expects you to act in accordance to the power in you.

Marriage is not a master/servant relationship. It is not a place for the display of autocratic power by the husband. Marriage between a man and his wife is a deeper level of friendship and ought to be fun filled. At least the Bible makes us understand that husbands are to rejoice in the wives of their youth. You both should share a deep relationship you share with no one else. If you are thinking of how to go about it, take a cue from our father, Abraham in Genesis 26:8. You are a servant-leader in your home, lead by example, not by standing at the sidelines barking out orders.

That reminds me. Should I let you know that it won’t hurt you if you lift a finger to ensure that the home front is running smoothly. Wait. This has nothing to do with finance. Your wives know that you are doing your best to be a provider and she appreciates you so much for that. This has to do with the chores around the house.

You can’t heap the truck load of the work on her and expect her to function well, particularly when you need her. She may be a super woman who can bear it all, but please be her hero. At least, everyone lives in the house, it is only appropriate if all hands are on deck to keep it in order.

Please, don’t come with ‘this is Africa’ (for those who live the marital aspect of their life by the culture of Africa). We have heard enough of it, and it has not provided many happy marriages. It has only provided more women who have been forced to live with their realities and who begin to look older than their husbands. Besides, marriage was not instituted by culture, but by God. Showing love to your wife in the little things that matter to her is not a Western way of life that is foreign to Africans.

As I conclude, let’s hear a word from a sage of this generation. Charles Ayidu said, “wives will find it easier to submit willingly to husband who lives his life not for himself, but for his wife and children.” The best gift you can give your children is to love your wife deeply just as God commands.

Dear husband, I hope you’ve learnt from my letter.

Till you hear from me again, I remain your little sister, Kemi.