Love stories are not thornless because life is not a bed of roses, and mine is no exception. The past twenty years of marriage was completely against how I had always dreamt of how my marriage will be. Indeed it was not a child’s play.
Back in school, I armed myself with variety of books on marriage, ranging from Gary Chapman’s “Five Love Language”, ” Seasons of Marriage”, Debi Pearl’s “Created To Be His Helpmeet”, amongst others. I had always pictured in my mind the kind of marriage I was going to have, how I’ll relate with my husband and even children. I had begun to pray for my unborn children, and my husband as far back as eighteen years of age.
One of my dreams in life was to get off the singles’ market as early as twenty-three years of age. This burning desire was what propelled my having a library of books on marriage more than any other spiritual book.
As a young Christian lady in a morally decadent campus environment, I, by God’s grace through daily crucifixion of flesh had to constantly wade off unserious guys that merely needed a babe to satisfy their masculine ego. Having a background knowledge of having to seek God’s face in marriage before choosing your ‘Mr. Right.’ I sowed myself in prayers that I may reap the fruit of having a godly man after God’s own heart.
I had began receiving directions on who I was going to be hooked to for life, but I wasn’t so certain. On my twenty third birthday, I received a surprise package from God, my dreams of many years were finally coming to pass.
Brother Samson had always been on my mind from day one I had been praying. Immediately the thought of him crossed my mind, I began to bind and cast every spirit of lust creeping in. Brother Samson was one brother every lady loved to have to themselves. Six feet, broad shoulders, with perfectly set dentition, and his well built body structure, decorated with his ebony skin.
Being a vivacious person, he had many people flocking around him, mostly ladies. He however knew how to keep his distance from the sisters that swarmed around him like a bee, so as to maintain his purity.
With all these specs, I never got close to him, so it was strange to begin developing feelings for him. Every moment he flashed through my mind, I began to pray, binding and casting. At long last, I accepted him having received several confirmations.
Due process was followed, and we began our courtship which lasted a year, and the marriage vow was made.
The person I courted was different from the person I married. Not that he was a completely terrible person, but there were some character traits that was unveiling. A saying goes “love is blind, but marriage opens your eyes”.
Marriage indeed opened my eyes to many things. Our first year was rough and tumble. We weren’t willing to adjust, and there were a lot of frictions. The first three years of our marriage was a winter season where things were just cold and mechanical.
I was getting tired but wasn’t ready to quit the marriage, I began to apply the principles I had acquired from the several books I had read. Drawing from my arsenal of knowledge, I took out the weapon of a praying wife, wielding it on every aspect of his life. I equally took the key of his love language to unlock the door of his heart.
The honoring role of submission was not overlooked, as I had to stoop to conquer. These and many more I did for about two years, when his heart began to gravitate towards me. We began to enjoy the season of summer in our marriage after five years of spring and fall.
Summer is sweet, and I’ll never want to come out of it. The bliss that characterizes it, and the warmth of love that envelopes us cannot be explained, but only experienced. The lovey dovey feelings, and the silent whisper of sweet nothings coupled with the special treatment received is head spinning. All the while, I had been viewing him through the microscope of the ideal rather than through the lenses of the real.
I realized later on that my husband is a raw material I have to mould to what I desire. This wasn’t done through manipulation, it was accomplished by using the right weapons of love, understanding, respect, amongst others.
Despite the rough beginning, we are going on well with our daily growing love. Right now, he’s beside me singing is usual “Iyawo Mi” by Tosin Martins. He stays glued to me when we are alone, and I don’t know what he wants this time around.
At this juncture, I cease the flow of my ink to go attend to my love. Gracias.