Ethan and Nathan are twins born to the Lewis family. They were so identical they couldn’t be told apart. They did everything together. Pulling stunts, playing tricks and most importantly, studying together. Nathan’s conversion birthed Ethan’s salvation, and together they were firing for God.
As they grew older, the need to get married stared them in the face, and they supported each other in prayers. Their big day was planned to be on the same day as they had met their women almost at the same time, Ethan, finding his wifey a month after Nathan found his queen.
They both have been married for two years, but it seemed Nathan’s marriage was hitting the rocks so soon, while Ethan’s home kept blossoming.
Nathan couldn’t place his fingers on what had brought about the change in Tola. She wasn’t like this when they were newly wedded. Her graceful words were replaced with constant nagging. Often times, he was forced to stay back in the office because he did not want to be greeted by her incessant bickering and cold shouldered welcome.
“What attracted me to her,” he thought to himself. If he was told that she would change, he would have sworn with his life that it couldn’t be possible. Tola was a beauty to behold. She had a perfectly curved body that often caught attention of men and women alike. Her bright smile often portrayed a person without worries. But, that was not what attracted me to her. There was more to her body. A depth I couldn’t fathom.
The last straw that broke the camel’s back was when she told me squarely that she was tired of the marriage, and she had made a grave mistake in getting married to me. It was then reality hit me and I knew I had to act fast to salvage my home before it was too late.
I informed Ethan about the situation on ground and he invited me over.
I had chosen Saturday morning for my visit so I could see firsthand how Ethan runs his home, perhaps I could get the secret.
Arriving at his house, I was shocked by what I saw.
“Ethan!” Surprise written on my face. This was my brother who could not lift a finger to do anything while we were bachelors. My mum and sisters got all the duties covered, and washing machine was made available for the laundry. Here he was shuffling between the kitchen and mopping the living room.
“Ethan! What has come over you? When did you begin to do all this?”
Ethan laughed. “Bro, surprised?”
“We were not brought to do stuff like this na. This is women’s work now? What do you expect people to say if they see you doing this?’
“Haha! Nath. By the way, how is your wife?
“Hmm. Bro, you know that’s why I’m here. Let’s leave that aside for now and face you. What exactly has come over you? Where is your wife?
“She’s with the kids. Nath, don’t tell me you don’t do anything at home, and you leave Tola to do the work.”
“Em, well, I don’t do female chores. It’s her work so she has to do it. I go to work Monday to Friday, you don’t expect me to help her with house chores.”
“Hmm. Interesting. Does she go to work?”
“Yeah, she does.”
“Does she contribute to the family income.”
“Why then do you think you shouldn’t be of assistance to her in doing home runs?”
“Bro, you know now. As it has been, so it will be, and forever shall it be. Men are not meant to-”
“Hold it. I’m sure that’s the reason you’re having problems in your marriage. The last time I saw Tola, she was looking so worn out and sickly. With tears, she narrated how things have been in your home, how she constantly asks for your support, but you ignore her saying it’s a woman’s work and she should not disturb you. She told me of how you lounge around in the home while you complain of your food coming late and the house being scattered.
“So, what has that got to do with the issue on ground?”
“Everything, bro. You’re a team, and you function better as such. To go after personal or societal dogma is sheer wickedness and selfishness on your part.”
Nathan was sober. “Hmm. I see. This was where I missed it. But, how did you do it. At least you were a lazy bone when it came to stuff like this.
Ethan chuckled. “Guy, see, I had to learn. You see the way my home is now, it was not like this in the first six months of our marriage. Those were rough times. Lade complained bitterly of me not being sensitive to her need during the day and at night I worshiped the ground she walks on just to get my needs satisfied. She often requested for my help in maintaining our home, but I lashed at her saying she couldn’t expect me to be doing her work for her.
At a time, she stopped asking for my help and I didn’t render help either. Things seemed to be normal between us, until one day when I heard her weeping as she was reporting me to a third party. My initial instinct was to go give her a piece of my mind for involving a third party in our affair. I had a feeling within me to calm down and I kept eavesdropping. After her conversation, I realized how cruel I had been and I decided to make amends. I was still mad at her for making a third party privy to our affairs, but I maintained my cool for a while. I sought counsel and read books that shaped my view on domestic chores and treating a woman.
When things eventually settled, I challenged her over the conversation. She merely laughed and said she never reported me to anybody and the conversation I heard were prayers she was pouring out to God. Things have evened out, and the love has been ever increasing and we work and walk this journey of marriage on the pathway of mutual understanding, love and respect.”
At this point, Nathan was completely broken and he reasoned within himself to make amends, hoping earnestly that it wasn’t too late.
“You’ve shown me my wrong brother,” he said as he was taking his leave. “Let me see if I can salvage my marriage from the ruins.
“Nath. One more thing. Understand that a woman is like a delicate flower. If you treat her with love and care, she’ll blossom and open up to you. But, if you handle her roughly, she’ll shrink and wither off. Handle Tola with care.” Ethan said as he saw his brother off.
Nathan returned home to meet a worried and angry Tola. She had not been aware of his outing and every effort to find out his whereabout proved abortive. As soon as Nathan saw her, he fell on his knees and begged her forgiveness. A confused Tola did not understand what had come over her husband, and felt he was trying to play pranks on her. After much persuasion and plea from Nathan, Tola’s anger and bitterness dissipated. Together they knelt before God and rededicated their home to Him. That day marked the beginning of forever bliss in their home.