Earlier this month, I made a post on the qualities I want in a husband. You can check that out here if you wish. I mentioned some things in the post which I could not elaborate on because it will be a deviation so I made mention of it that if there’s anyone interested in me talking about it should show interest and yes, interest was shown. So, here we are.

When you hear a lady talking about the qualities she wants in a husband, she’ll always give a rundown of things she wants in her man. I’m talking about ladies specifically because I don’t think I’ve ever heard people ask guys to talk about the qualities they want in a lady. If you have, let us know how the discussion is broached 😉.

So, most of the qualities mentioned are categorised into the ‘cake’ and ‘icing’ list. CAVEAT: This is my personal bias and you can choose to concur or object.

Most times when I hear ladies reel off their list of qualities I hear things like: he must be tall (I’ve not seen a lady that likes a short guy. Who did short guys offend though?), dark (are there no fair skinned guys?) and handsome (nobody wants an ‘ugly’ person though beauty is in the eyes of the beholder). The guy must also be ‘ready made’ amongst other things, and he must be romantic 😂. Good qualities, innit? To crown it all, the guy has to be GOD FEARING. Nobody wants a devil’s incarnate.

These qualities are good and very valid. Who no like better thing? I personally do not have issues with these qualities. My issue is taking the icing for the cake and the cake for the icing. I’ll explain.

When a cake is baked, it can be without icing and it will be very much enjoyable. It can keep you coming for more. But you can’t eat icing just like that. Well, except you’re seeking to build a mansion in the hospital. Sadly, many ladies (this is not restricted to ladies alone, but I’m talking from a ladies point of view for the purpose of this post) will rather feed on the ‘icing’ qualities than eat the cake itself, and when they come down with marital diabetes, the internet will break with tales of woe.

While icing in itself is not the issue, but the eating of it alone, so also these qualities in themselves are not bad, but using it as the basis of your marital decision only.

While icing in itself is not the issue, but the eating of it alone, so also these qualities in themselves are not bad, but using it as the basis of your marital decision only. Click To Tweet

The cake is the koko (main deal) and that is the God fearing factor and the quality of the man’s character. A godly man with a strong character without the icing is better than a romantic TDH (the icing qualities) without the cake.

Does this mean we should not desire the icing? Definitely not. But the cake is the most important. When you have the cake, you can always make your icing decorations. Funnily enough, you may not need to because the baker of the cake (God) knows how best to decorate the cake. He will give you cake and icing with toppings and all the other things you need to enjoy your marriage.

Unto Him who is able to give us EXCEEDINGLY ABUNDANTLY ABOVE ALL WE ASK OR THINK.

Or what do you think? Share your thoughts.

I love you 😍🤟.

Unto Him who is able to give us EXCEEDINGLY ABUNDANTLY ABOVE ALL WE ASK OR THINK.  Click To Tweet