How do roles and responsibilities affect the home?
Men Have Breaking Point
It’s not new to us that men are the breadwinners of their families, but when it gets to a point where all financial responsibilities are saddled on his shoulders with no one to help him bear in the burden, and he has a wife, we have to raise eyebrows.
Take a look at this scenario.
A family of 5 with the both spouse working, yet it’s only the man that carries the financial weight. Wife needs something and husband is the saviour. Children need something and daddy is the helper. Extended family want something and their brother is the best person to call. There’s a donation somewhere and the able man carries it all.
To be honest, it will get to a time when the man gets to his elastic limit and he breaks. At that point he begins to be snappy and cranky, not because he is not happy providing for his family, but because the burden has become too much for him to bear.
As a woman, it’s a responsibility on you to contribute to the family purse. No, you’re not HELPING him with finances, you’re making sure that the financial strain is not on your husband alone. You’re making sure that you’re able to keep your financial table stable.
The idea of his money is our money, while my money is my money is a sign of selfishness and a mark of financial irresponsibility.
Women Have Breaking Point Too
A woman is expected to keep the home front, but when it gets to the point where she’s the only one who carries all of the load, she begins to break under the weight.
Take a look at this scenario.
Wife is in the kitchen, kid is crying and needs attention, uniforms and wears need to be ironed, house has to be cleaned, amongst many other things The only person who does this in the house is the mother/wife, while husband sits back doing nothing. Need I say that the woman also works outside the home and she also has to meet up with husband’s sexual needs.
It gets to a point when she reaches her breaking point and it takes a toll on the family. She likely will transfer aggression, snap at the kids and be tired to meet husband’s sexual needs. She’s completely knackered.
Chill, you’re not HELPING her. You’re only taking up your responsibility of ensuring that the home front is balanced and one person is not carrying all the weight. The idea of it is her work, let her do it simply speaks of selfishness and lack of care.
How do we solve this problem? First, understand that marriage is a 100/100 game. If you choose to go the 50/50 way and strictly abide by the traditional roles as they were in the days of our forefathers, well, I’m displeased to tell you that you’ll be putting unnecessary strain on your spouse and on the home at large and you will get the results of our forefathers in an unpleasant way.
Secondly, understand that you don’t have to run your home the way society (family, friends, and meddlesome interlopers) wants you to run it. Your home is yours, not society’s. Roles are yours, not community’s. Mutual understanding from both of you to work for the mutual benefit of you both and the home at large will take away the strain traditional roles will put on you.
Lastly, have the heart of your spouse. Do all you can, with all the strength you can, in all manner you can, for all reasons you can to lift the burden off your spouse’s shoulder. Your home will be happier for it.
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Much love from my heart 🥰