Okay! So, I’m definitely sure nobody on this earth has not heard or does not know what friendship is or what it entails, but for ‘loveship’, err… I doubt if it is a familiar word. I think I’ll want to take the credit for coming up with that word though the dictionary has no meaning for it. I’ll give meaning to it somewhere along the line when I’m sharing my thoughts
So, sometimes ago, my younger brother and I were discussing together in the kitchen when he said, “you know you will soon marry (I don’t exactly know where he is chasing me too or why he is so eager for me to get married), you better marry your friend o, not just one brother in the church.”
We laughed together. He wasn’t trying to say I shouldn’t marry a Christian o, but I should marry my friend. I was amazed actually considering the age of my brother. Should I tell you his age? No I won’t.
With what he said, I chose to go to the streets to get opinion from people on the need to build friendship before ‘loveship.’
I’ll love to go first on this. At least the statement was directed to me (winks). Friendship is as basic as the state of people being friends, and who are friends? Friends are people who got your back and see things differently from you do (particularly when you’re on overdrive) and can help you back on track if you veer off. They offer assistance, support, encouragement, just name it.
Friendship is one of the bedrocks of a successful relationship. Asides from being a lover, be a friend. At friendship stage, the mushiness that comes with a love relationship is not there, your heads are still clear, you can access things objectively. You’re not ‘blind’. People say love is blind, but I don’t how veritable that statement is. The point is that you guys know each other with no strings attached just yet and no one is trying to put their best foot forward to overtly please the other. You both are just being friends and you do things friends do.
Developing a friendship relationship with your intended sets you on a good pedestal for better bonding even when you take your relationship into the love gear. You have the double advantage of being a friend and a lover (a friendly lover). In my opinion, set aside the mushiness and fluttering butterflies in the stomach and build a rock solid friendship relationship of getting to know each other really well before going into the love zone.
I think I’m talking too much and it is time for me to hear from others.
Hear from Jennifer. “I think we should understand what it means to be ‘friends’ with your intended spouse. A lot of times, it is mixed up with being able to spend long hours gisting and never getting bored or being shy with. It’s way deeper than that, so there is need to define it. I don’t think it’s a one way thing. Some were friends at first, others went straight into the relationship (because sometimes you just know). The common thing is that before they got to the altar they were great friends.”
Grace, said, “the best person you can get married to is your friend. I believe a friend is someone that understands you, knows you, knows when to talk and when to be quiet. A true friend knows you in and out.”
These are just few responses. Other responses gotten are coupled with experiences and preferences, and that is sufficient as a blog post on its own. For this purpose, there will be a part two of this post.
What I can conclude is that whosoever you choose to marry must be your friend. You may not necessarily be friends before knowing each other (in some cases, they were first strangers), but before you say ‘I do’, that bond of friendship must have been built.
See you in the next post.
SUGGESTED READ: Importance of Friendship in Your Marriage