Q: Good day, sir and ma’am. I’m honoured to have you on board. First things first, let’s know you.
A: We’re the blessed of the Lord, Mr and Mrs Fisayo and Tope Akinyele.

Q: Simple and straight to the point. For how long have you been married?
A: We’ve been married for close to a year now, which by November 17th, 2019. We will have our first Wedding Anniversary.
Aww. Happy first wedding anniversary. I pray you many more happy and lovely years together.

Q: How did you know she was the one for you?
A: How we knew that we’re meant for one another is by the word of the Lord. Actually as the husband, I moved from liking her to loving her and I sort the face of the Lord in the place of prayers for her and the Lord guided me through His word. The Lord also gave her a word to hold on to as my wife which she told me later. After, we have ensured we built our friendship well before building the relationship. So it’s actually by the leading of the Lord, remember the steps of the righteous are ordered by the Lord.

Q: Lovely! The steps of the righteous are truly ordered by the Lord. That’s a message on its own. With the rate of divorce, separations and domestic violence, is there hope for singles?
A: Marriage has been perverted, but the foundation of the Lord stands sure. God’s word will not fail, it’s only the world that will fail. What preaches what marriage is to people today is Hollywood and all the woods that are wounding people down with her own culture.. Well, one of the things the Lord put to us as a ministry is that the rate of divorce that is currently dancing between 50-50 with the world and church. It will become something of 100-0 in the coming year as the people will make ready their hearts to obey what God said about marriage in His word. There will only be hope if we obey God because God’s word works.

Q: What do you miss about your single days? How did you cope with losing your independence?
A: Wife: Freedom of movement… Before marriage I can move anywhere I want but now that I am under a man, I’ll need to tell my husband about my movement and he does the same too.

Husband: Well, for me, it is my alone times where I just enjoy being alone, doing what I want anytime I want it. In fact, I remember one of the things that made me to move my platform for singles “AN EVENING WITH SINGLES” to Telegram from WhatsApp was because I saw that I won’t have time so much like I do while single. So, I moved it in fact two months after our wedding. Well, we can’t say we lost our independence because responsibility actually fix you up to know that we’re both responsible for one another, we’re both parenting ourselves. So, we can’t really say we lost it.

Q: If there is a next world, and you have a chance of choosing to choose your spouse as your spouse again, will you? How do you keep being friends?
A: Yes, we will say “I do” again and we will keep doing. On the second question, by the grace of God, we spent 6 years, 5 months and 12 days in our relationship. Like we do say that you don’t build friendship based on the number of years spent but being intentional about building friendship in your relationship. We built our friendship on God’s word, we did on strong communication and consistently confessing our love for one another. We understand that friendship is the basis for having a strong marriage. It gives an idea even in the relationship how the marriage will be.

Q: How do you handle your partner’s pet peeves? How can you tell when your spouse is angry, particularly when they hide their feelings?
A: Well, we just mention or see to it and then we deal with it. We carefully use soft answers so that we can properly correct one another. I think we don’t normally get overtly angry. Something might be painful but we don’t get angry about a thing. We may not like a thing and then we express it and deal with it that day and not sleep over it.

Q: Not sleeping over offences is key then. I’ll also want to ask you both how you handle each other’s flaws and short coming. Discussing it may seem like a slippery slope, how do you do it?
A: When it is known, like I said we carefully use words to deal with it. We’ve answered this, we deal with it immediately and don’t sleep over a matter even from our relationship days. Doing this has helped build a strong way to help one another and not to keep malice even as couples.. Scriptures says in malice be children… You’ll hear children fight and say “I won’t play with you again” and before you know it they’re playing together with sand. While we are single this was our practice. We don’t sleep over a matter. This has helped us because it’s like our culture both, to deal with that thing… You know it’s hard to love when there is an offence.

Q: As a wife, did the thoughts of joggling motherhood, being a career woman, handling a position in church and the many other duties you have weigh you down? As a man, did you have any fears of your responsibility ahead?
A: No. The joy of motherhood has kept me going even with this our first child Eriifeoluwa. When Joy is in place, there is a strength it gives.
Well, we’re in it already. Being responsible for one another has been our culture and that has really helped shape us a lot. In fact, these all begins from buying things for one another. I remember when we were in school, both of us wanted to attend a wedding and our shoes were out of place, so we had money for one. I just let go for my wife and everyone was fine. She’s done this also for me a lot of times. Love is about giving yourself for the other. That’s responsibility and it’s a commandment from the Lord to lay down our lives for one another. This gives me hope for what may lie ahead for me as a man. Not just in natural things but also in the spiritual

Q: Do you have anything to say to singles?
A: Patience is a tool you’ll need to engage God in all things even maritally. The place of marriage is something that needs a lot God’s guidance and not your own wisdom. Understanding also the place of spiritual authorities. Never enter a relationship before telling your spiritual head, maybe your pastor or mentor. It’s wrong to enter and then you’re telling them. They’re to guide you on what God told you, I believe if they’re sensitive to God, they’ll also pick what God told you.
Never build relationship before friendship that’s putting the cart before the horse. Build friendship first then relationship will have a ground to stand on. Much more build your relationship on God’s word so that in the days storm or trouble your relationship or marriage will stand.

This is more than a message. Thank you, so much for your time, sir and ma’am. My warm regards to your handsome son.

 

A Dialogue With The Ambali’s