Our readers have been anticipating this interview with you. Can we meet you?
Mrs. Yaks: Sure! My name is Elizabeth Oyebola Yakubu.
Mr Yaks: Yes. I am Michael Nosano Yakubu
Lovely! For how long have you been married? How did you know your spouse was the one for you.
Mrs. Yaks: More than six months now. It was six months on the 11th November, 2019. How I know he is the one. That is going to be a whole story if I delve into it. But God was the One who gave my husband to me. He did it in such an awesome way that it beats the imaginations of men! He backed the leading up with so much conviction, deep, unconditional love and peace.
Mr. Yaks: Six months. How I knew she was the one? Three things made me know that she was the one. The conviction I received from God, the deep love I have for her and the satisfaction of having her by my side. To explain the leading will be like writing a volume of book.
Beautiful! Similar testimony. How do you see marriage in our world today? With the skyrocketing rate of divorce, domestic violence and what have you, is there any hope left for singles?
Mrs. Yaks: Marriage in our world was one of the things I saw that made me hide myself in rigorous personal prayers and study of God’s Word. I read God’s promises and held on to them. I prayed them seriously in because I just knew, simply knew that the kind of marriage I keep seeing around in this world is not the type I want! And of course I told God that He should lead me aright because when He does, I will shout of His goodness far and near. There is hope for every single Christian lady or guy who will waits on the Lord- who will desire to have God’s best. The Bible says to the faithful, God will show Himself faithful, to the sincere also, He will show Himself sincere. And well, to the froward, He will show Himself froward! The only person who can lead one aright is God. Why? He was the One that instituted marriage! He knows you better and knows him/her better as well. He sees the end from the beginning. No prophet or pastor no matter how anointed can or should take a place of God in any individual’s life especially when it comes to the issue of marriage.
Mr. Yaks: God still leads. When He does lead however, the bride and the groom still have a lot to do to ensure that their marriage works. They pray regular, renew their marital vows, love and respect, communicate and do so many other sustainable things for their homes. The marriage in our world today is full of problems and troubles if Christ is not in the centre of the union. Based on my experience, there is hope for the coming generation if only they can make Christ the Author of marriage the centre of their lives, of their choice of who to marry and of their family.
Thanks for this. This is cold water for a thirsty soul. Can you say you missed anything from your single days? How did you cope with ‘losing’ your independence?
Mrs. Yaks: My single day? I can’t really say I miss anything because my sweetheart wouldn’t even let me feel that way. Some ladies complain that: He doesn’t allow me work- my husband does! He doesn’t allow me keep in touch with my family- my husband does. He even does it better than I do. He doesn’t allow me see movies- We infact have some nights where we both sit down to enjoy good Christian movies. He doesn’t allow me have fun- Haha…what fun? My husband allows me do all these. With him by my side, we try to enjoy ourselves in the little corner where God has planted us. He doesn’t give me time to pray- Never! He is even my push in that area. He is also glad to see me pray, study God’s Word and some good Christian books. I did not lose my independence when I married my husband, instead, I have found my independence in Christ Jesus and as a virtuous wife.
Mr. Yaks: I can’t really remember anything I missed. There is nothing to cope with because of the satisfaction I derive from my gracious wife.
Awesome! Nothing lost, all things gained. If there’s a next world, will you say ‘I do’ again to your spouse? And how do you stay as friends?
Mrs. Yaks: There can’t be a next world, you know? Haha. The next world after here is Heaven where Christ would be the Groom of us all. In Heaven, while sitting and dining in Christ, I desire to sit side by side with my husband. I don’t know how the architectural design of Heaven is o but it would be a great experience sharing a magnificent mansion with my darling husband even up there. I would make him my husband again and again!
How do we stay as friends? We do a lot of things together.
Mr. Yaks: Of course, I will marry her a million times over if there’s anything like that. We stay together as friends by praying, eating, playing and doing almost everything together. We are also open to each other.
Aww. Love in the air. How do you handle each other’s pet peeves? How can you tell when your spouse is angry, particularly when they hide their feelings?
Mrs. Yaks: At first, I didn’t know how to express my feelings so I would think that he should know that I was hurt by that action, word or something like that. But I married a very expressive man. He expresses himself in a very godly way. He told me during courtship to always speak out. We should table it all and trash it out because when we do, we will realize that what we held like a mountain is only a spoonful. Since then, I became expressive too. If he isn’t around me, I could even send a text or a voicenote. Being a very godly man, he would usually promptly respond and in most cases, I would realize that I was the one that blew what had happened out of proportion. My husband lacks the ability to hide his feelings when he’s hurt. He would always speak out. And when he probably doesn’t want to appear too bugging, he might decide not to say anything but it would be obvious on his face and I would have to ask ‘Sweetheart, is all well?’ and well, he would open it all up.
Mr. Yaks: My wife cannot hide her feelings. Her voice will always betray her. It’s simple to handle my wife when she’s offended. Apologize to her and just let her feel loved by you, she will bow out.
Hmm. Do you ever discuss your flaws, and how does one negatively affects the other? At what time do you bring up such discussions? Do you recommended it for couples?
Mr. Yaks: Yes. I bring up such discussion when I know she will understand me. We are always sincere to each other and always respect each other’s sincerity irrespective of whatever it is. Such discussion strengthens our union. Of course, I will recommend openness and sincerity to every couple.
Mrs. Yaks: Speaking out helps. We most time pray before tackling any issue and we both get our minds set to know in what way we have erred. Personally, if I see that I have hurt my husband and it’s obvious, I try to ease the atmosphere with some jokes. If it doesn’t work, I would start to apologize. I would try to speak his love language and we will be fine. It’s not easy to hear about your flaws from anyone but I think it’s a privilege to hear something like that from the one closest to one’s heart. One must try as much as possible to make it work, work around all that has been pointed out if one’s marriage will work out. My husband and I pray anytime we settle some scores, obviously if our hearts aren’t settled after those discussions, we wouldn’t be able to pray. We would have to revisit the issue again till it reaches a settlement. The awareness of God’s Presence in our Union makes a great difference.
Speaking out amd praying. Wonderful! As a wife/husband, were you ever overwhelmed by the responsibilities you’ll be shouldering?
Mrs. Yaks: No. Being a first born and a leader from a very early age, I knew I was going so far. Going so far requires carrying much loads. As long as it is for the glory of God and He is the one laying the loads and responsibilities on me, I was good to go! Women naturally have the multitasking thing in them!
Mr. Yaks: My life has always been a life of faith. My wife and anybody that has been close to me can attest to that. So, that doesn’t bother me. What bothers me is to be who God wants me to be in all ramifications of life, husband and father inclusive. In pursuit of that goal, family and all other responsibilities become automatically covered and insured.
Wow! Committing everything to God is key. Any piece of advice?
Mrs. Yaks: Wait on the Lord. He still chooses for the man and the woman who waits on Him. Marriage is not a joke. It is a real job and to keep getting ‘The Best Wife Award’ you’ve got to work very hard, very wisely at it. The requirements for doing a wonderful job in marriage, you must get before entering the marriage. Learn to pray and cook good food, love yourself and others; read good books and learn from others that are positively Influential maritally. Pray for God’s wisdom and enviable virtues. And the Lord will bless you with your match! Sharpen your skills and make yourself very ‘hot’. Be a woman generations will call ‘blessed’ even before getting married.
Mr. Yaks: Four pieces of advice to the single: Surrender to Christ. Since people that surrender to Him are scarce to find, if you surrender to Him everything about you becomes His project including your marriage. So, He wouldn’t allow you to enter the hand of a wrong woman. He will give you a woman of like mind that can help you do His biddings more than you would have done it alone.
Seek for knowledge. You may be God’s surrendered child and still perish in the area of marriage because, it is “God’s people that are destroyed for lack of knowledge” not God’s enemies. No matter how spiritual you are, any area of your life that you lack knowledge for, be prepared to suffer it. Therefore, study the bible and books on marriage written by real spiritual men of God, not just anybody.
Be hardworking: It is both the spiritual and the physical that work together to make you a balanced believer ready for marriage because, faith (spiritual) without work (physical) is dead. Therefore, work hard to make all the necessary physical preparation before marriage (financially, materially, academically etc)
Allow Him to guide you and not your brain. If it is God that guides you, three things will happen: (i). He will give you the woman that is best for you (ii). Since He has committed Himself to choosing for you, it becomes a must to commit Himself to keeping the marriage because of His faithfulness and your obedience. (iii). There is a special favor that comes to a man that finds a wife; that finds her in God’s own way, through waiting on God as it is said in the scripture “Seek and ye shall find… a prudent wife is from the LORD”
In my case for example, I allowed God to make the choice for me and He gave me the best woman for my life and ministry. He is committed to making my marriage an example to others and I am experiencing unprecedented favor that everybody can attest to.