1. First things first. Our readers will love to know you.
My name is Esther IbukunOluwa Oyekunle. I am an Event Planning Consultant and an entrepreneur. I am a graduate of Bowen University, Iwo where I studied Communication Arts.
2. What do you think about singleness? Do you love it, are you just waiting to get hooked, are you seeing it as an opportunity to explore and be happy? Just what do you think.
(Laughs 😂) Do I love singleness? Yes and No. Yes because it is an opportunity for me to find my path. I’m currently in the phase and I am happy because I have all the time to be able to explore and discover all that God has created me to be. And No because I WANT TO MARRY (I actually shouted that) LOL. I look forward to completing a man and putting ten thousands to flight with him.
3. What will you do differently from your parents marriage?
A lot. A whole lot. Every parent wishes that their children would be better than they are in every area, so I really pray and hope that my marriage would be far better than theirs.
4. How do you handle pressure from ‘well-meaning’ people who keep asking when you will bring your spouse. Do you think there’s a ‘right’ age to get married?
Well, I don’t think I’m being ‘so’ pressured by anyone, though. But I think it became a regular thing after my sister’s wedding. Questions like, “How’s your sister doing? Hope you’re not missing her o.. Eeyah, your own too will come ehn?” “Who is he now? Has he come?” “You need to start praying if you haven’t o. You must also marry…” Lol. Most times, I just say “Amen” and move ahead with what I’m doing. I don’t dwell on it so much because I am not in a hurry, but sometimes I’m like, “God, for real o, who is the man?” But the joy that God makes all things beautiful in His time does not make me weary in any way.
To the second question. Like I just mentioned, God makes all things beautiful in His own time. I have friend’s that got married at 23, 25 and all. I have other folks who got married at 30,35 and they have happy marriages too. No age is wrong or right. Just trust God to lead you.
5. In your own opinion, is love alone a sufficient reason to marry someone?
Hmmmm. Love means different things to different people these days. But looking at all the characteristics of LOVE in 1 Corinthians 13, isn’t that enough? Truth is, anyone that doesn’t love God fully will not be able to love his man or his woman completely. So a man/woman totally sold out to God understands the true concept of love and it is evident in his acts and I believe that alone is sufficient for marriage.
Also, I’d like to add that mushy feelings, infatuation and lusts aren’t love. So before you agree to marry any man, be sure that you aren’t confusing those terms with love so you won’t have to regret it on the long run.
God is love and God is all you need in your marriage. So essentially and conclusively, love, the God kind of love is sufficient for a marital relationship.
6. Do you believe God still guides in this modern age as to who to get married to?
Yes! Yes! Yes! and Yes! I personally love to listen to stories of how couples met. My sister recently got married and when I listen to her story and that of her husband, I’m encouraged that God still leads. I was with a family yesterday too (at the time of the interview) and my conclusion was that God is truly a Father and He is interested in EVERY affair of His children. He isn’t interested in them making mistakes and so of a truth, God still guides. We only need seek Him with utmost humility.
7. We hear of tribal difference and the rifts that sometimes occur between parents and their children who want to marry from other tribes, what do you think?
Thankfully, my sister got married to someone from another tribe. My parents are liberal. They are supportive and all they do is pray for their children and leave them into the hands of God. Tribalism isn’t an issue with my parents and I think I have learnt a lot from them. We are one body under Christ and I don’t think tribalism should separate us. Parents should guide and pray for their children, but not choose for them. As much as we hear that some tribes are evil and all sorts, there are still good persons in that same tribe. So singles need to know God for themselves early so that the voice of God will be so unmistakable.
8. How do you deal with loneliness? When the waves of not having someone or talk to on an intimate level comes crashing on you, how do you deal?
Hmmm, my sister ehn. It’s not been so easy. Some weeks back, I sent a message to my friend that I was ‘lonely’ and would be coming to her place for the weekend. Her reply was, “You? Lonely?” Lol. I think I’ve grown to enjoy my space right from time. Yes, I enjoy attention too, but I don’t force it. I have intentionally gotten myself into so many things at this point that actually take the most of my time, so I can’t really say I’m lonely. Plus, I have lots of persons around me that check up on me often and this makes the whole feeling of not having that ‘one person’ to talk to intimately not so difficult.
9. How have you been able to handle sexual urge, particularly in this sex-filled age we find ourself in.
I will say first that I love God and I wish to please Him everyday and with everything. I do have urges just like everyone does, but also reminding myself of the fact that I owe my generation the testimony of how I didn’t bend in the face of sexual pressures helps. I have set boundaries also and I know how I relate with the guys around me and I’m glad many of them have come to realize who I am and the things I can’t tolerate.
10. Do you think marriage is all about give and take?
I don’t really understand what you mean by the “give and take”, but marriage is all about sacrifice. It isn’t fair when one party keeps giving and the other doesn’t reciprocate. It doesn’t communicate so much affection.
11. Does your partner have to be 100% perfect before marrying him/her?
No. I think when I was much younger, I had that silly mindset. But each day, I’m getting to realize that everyone is a work in a progress.
Thanks for taking out time for this wonderful chat. I love you. 🥰