We will love to meet you

 

I am Kuti Israel Ifeoluwa, a young man with the mission of a better future for generations to come, through Godly home. I am a writer, a poet and a Relationship Student teacher. You all know who or what a student teacher means, so just add relationship to it, and digest the rest. I am a member of ABIVAHFOUNDATION, an NGO saddled with the responsibilities of putting smiles on the faces of people, children especially. I am an advocate of a Godly Relationship and a peaceful Marriage. A tech savvy.

What do you think about singleness? Do you love it, are you just waiting to get hooked, are you seeing it as an opportunity to explore and be happy? Just what do you think?

 

Singleness, is a stage in the life of an adult, where you are surrounded with more than enough liberty, to practicalize a lot of things, and to also put a lot of things in place. Singleness gives you an unlimited opportunity to enjoy certain decisions, and also to make more important and future determinant decisions.
For me, singleness gives me the freedom and opportunity, to gather myself together and prepare myself spiritually, emotionally, psychologically and even financially for the couple life ahead. Just like the popular saying that a bird will only fly with whatever it has eaten. Singleness is the time you have, to shape the future and draw the plan of what you want your couple life to be. You can go wherever you want to go, eat whatever you want to eat, sleep wherever you want to sleep and do whatever you want to do, because you aren’t responsible to any second half yet. But the moment you say “yes I Do” all these privileges either reduces, or vanish into thin air.
However, you must be careful, to not lose yourself while trying to find and enjoy yourself (which is very common these days).

 

What will you do differently from your parents marriage?

 

My parents’ marriage, has been one of the best marriages I have seen thus far, and with the fact that the predominant love of God in their marriage, makes their love life a lot easier for them.
However, what I will do differently from their marriage, is to allow my children harness every opportunity, without putting the family’s advice over them.
I will venture into more investments, and wouldn’t put everything in one box like they did.
There love has always been the old fashion way, and I can’t blame them for that, however what I will do differently is to add a little sauce and spice to my own marriage. They spend most of their love outing reading spiritual books, bible most especially, I will add finance, romantic, and other educative books to my list.

How do you handle pressure from ‘well-meaning’ people who keep asking you when will you bring your spouse. Do you think there’s a ‘right’ age to get married.

 

Fortunately, I don’t really have people pressurizing me to bring a spouse home, but the good thing is to keep yourself busy with something reasonable and tangible when you are not yet ready for marriage, so that people won’t bug you with unnecessary questions. Although whichever way, they will still come once you are in the ripe age. (especially females). Some in love and sincerity, others in mockery. But the suitable or better answer is either, I am not yet ready because of these reasons
I am praying about it, you can also join me in prayers
I am still busy with certain things, when I am ready, I will get married (useful for males)
I am still waiting for the right man to come, I can’t rush into marriage because of pressure, let’s pray together.
With any or all of these words, you have successfully conquered their pressure.

By the way, you should also let those pressure assist you to genuinely think twice on why the man hasn’t come, or what you have been unknowingly doing, that has made them distance themselves.

In your own opinion, is love alone a sufficient reason to marry someone?
Is love alone a sufficient reason to marry someone?

 

It was, yes it was. During the time of our parents, their aspirations and desires were quite limited, so was their exposure. These exposures were what they lived their home and life around. Then, when a man loves a woman, or when a woman loves a man, they love each other unconditionally, and were ready to go any length for each other.
Fortunately, then, a larger number of women, possess a well-groomed moral and the sanity which marriage carries along was not only in existence, but was dominant, even amongst both parties. So, during that generation, a man can marry a woman he or she loves, or a woman can marry a man presented to her by her parent and they will live in peace and harmony.
But in these our age and time, our aspirations have increased, our desires and hunger has also increased. Hence it is important that beyond the love both parties have for each other, they must communicate extensively about several things they like or dislike during courtship.

You love her, and you have prayed about it, congratulations. But beyond that, are there certain habits he has that you might not be able to live with?
Are there certain things he or she does, that you are not comfortable with? Have you both talked about it and it seems she can’t live without doing those things, or he won’t stop those attitudes because of anybody? Don’t get me wrong, I know you both love each other, but do you know that when you love someone, you will never do anything to hurt the person, marriage is a long time to marry out of pity, or to marry with regret of what you could have averted.
If you can comfortably live with that, Good for you, but to avoid stories that touch, you might want to think and think again.
NEVER FORGET THE SINCERE CONSULTATION OF THE GOD FACTOR. That’s much more SUPREME. (You can pray to God to change that attitude and you get to walk down the isle with the love of your life).

Do you believe God still guides in this modern age as to who to get married to?

 

Definitely, God has, and will always guide those that faithfully seek his face in marriage.

We hear of tribal difference and the rifts that sometimes occur between parents and their children who want to marry from other tribes, what do you think?

 

The rift can be averted, when you include the God factor. I have seen several intra tribal marriages and they are doing very fine, and I have seen otherwise too. No marriage is without trouble, but our elders believe that a problem that arises between people of the same language and culture, is much easier to fix. Again, the elders have seen a whole lot that we haven’t and sometimes they always have their reasons for saying no to intratribal marriages. But if you can convince them to support you, then it’s a good one. I believe that there is no harm in having Intra tribal marriages.

How do you deal with loneliness? When the waves of not having someone or talk to on an intimate level comes crashing on you, how do you deal?

 

Loneliness!!! Hmmm, this happens to everyone, because we are all humans. But in cases like that, I am a writer, and I find it easier to pour out my heart on the pen and paper each time I feel lonely. Also, I have a couple of good friends around that I call, we gist, discuss, make gest of one another and before I knew it, I am already off the swing of loneliness.
Sometimes I open up to them that I am lonely, and they either come visiting sometimes later, or pull stunts through conference calls and I just get lifted.
Another thing I do is listen to music. Especially that part where tope Alabi Eulogizes God, those Eulogy has a way of penetrating my heart.

How have you been able to handle sexual urge, particularly in this sex-filled age we find ourself in.

 

Sexual Urge!!!!
With the things we see around us daily, especially in this Lagos, you cannot but attest to the fact that the world is turning to something else. But the truth is, determination and discipline are one of the ways to manage sexual urge. You might not be able to totally control what you see, but you can control what you think. Every sexual urge will first start from the heart before it is either been satisfied, or controlled.
Another thing is the type of people you relate with, the type of conversation you involve yourself in, and the type of friends you meet, and the places you go. A person that visits the club every now and then will most likely see and hear things that will unnecessarily arouse him or her.

Do you think marriage all about give and take?

Marriage is much more than give and take, you are building generations, as a parent, you are part of the decision makers of what the next generation will look like. Because the way you bring up your kids, has a significantly important effect on their generation.
Marriage is never about give and take, marriage is about LOVE, PASSION, DETERMINATION, CONSECRATION, LOYALTY, SUPPORT, DEDICATION, and DEVELOPMENT.

Does your partner have to be 100% perfect before marrying him/her?

Nobody on earth is 100% perfect except Jesus Christ. Even myself, I am not 100 % perfect. We will endure and enjoy each other simultaneously.