Why do people think after some years, marriage becomes boring and lacks the spark that was there before? Why? Just why? 

I personally feel there is one key reason which is ROUTINE. After the honeymoon season and a few years of lovey dovey, couples tend to slip into the rut of routine. They begin to face ‘reality’. I think I’ve been talking about the rut of routine in several posts. Well, it’s because routine brings doldrums. 

Well, I believe it should not be and there are several ways you can add the spark back to your marriage, and I’ll be giving you 5 ways you can bring the fun back. 

Romantic Date Nights 

Wait Kemi, what is date night? You now even added romantic to it. You must be kidding, right? This one is ‘foreign’ to us na. What are you talking about. Actually, let me tell you the fact. If you mentioned date night to me some few years back, I’ll look at you as if you were speaking to me in Latin. It was strange to me to until I saw the light. Date nights are periods where you take out time to spend with your spouse in a special way. It doesn’t necessarily have to be in the night. You can work around anytime depending on your schedule. The most important thing is go on a date with your spouse like you did during your courtship and add a good dose of romance to it. Shikena. 

Attend Marriage Retreat

You can read my post on retreat, refuel, rekindle to know why your marriage needs some period of retreat. Marriage retreats are organised by some churches, groups or relationship/marriage coaches. You can schedule your time to attend anyone. You come together with other couples and y’all share your experiences, catch some fun and go back refreshed. No amount should be too much to invest in your marriage. At least it is your marriage not another’s. 

Games and shopping 

Oh well, you might not have all the time to go for retreat or all the resources needed, but you can get games. Buying and playing games doesn’t cost much money or time, so you’ve got no excuse. You just have to choose to be intentional with your marriage and add some fun. Be children who love to play, not every time serious mood. You and your spouse can also go shopping together for your most basic needs and groceries. Add an element of fun by splitting the list and watch out who gets to the counter first. The end goal is for you both to laugh. Don’t form hard guy/woman.

 

Be spontaneous 

During the introduction, I talked about routine and how it brings doldrums to the marriage. If you don’t want routine to catch up on you, learn spontaneity. Be spontaneous in giving surprises (not on birthdays or anniversaries only), be spontaneous with your meals (not every time rice and beans), be spontaneous with your activities (if you know what I mean). Just be intentional about introducing an element of spontaneity. It doesn’t have to be something so big. It’s the thoughtfulness that matters. 

Pray and Play. 

A family that prays together stays together. In prayer you both share your heart content to God and you both get to know some deep things about each other. Praying with and for your spouse and adds fun to your marriage. Please, not the routine prayer. Thank you. Also, a family that plays together smile together. Life is too short not to find time to play. 

Remember, Jesus at the center makes the home godly and happy. 

Much love, 

Kemi. 

MARRIAGE: ENJOYED NOT ENDURED