I observe a lot when it comes to anything that has to do with marriage though I’m not a naturally observant person. Many times I’ve seen men and women who go slack and allow the see finish syndrome finish their marriage and they allow every attraction fade. The law of diminishing returns sets in the marriage and they begin to turn their spouses off, particularly the one who is trying to keep things fresh.


What possible ways can you turn your spouse off, and how can you avoid or remedy the situation?

Your speech. The way you used sweet words to swoon your spouse and swept them off their feet while you were trying to woo them (particularly the men) often change to harsh and demanding voices if you allow over familiarity creep into your marriage. You’ve chased her and caught her, so there’s no need for the sweet nothings, right? That’s a huge turn off because women are moved by what they hear, and speaking in demeaning and rude ways can in no way make her happy. On the flip side, as a woman, don’t replace the sweet bedroom voice you used while courting into domineering and nagging voices.

Your appearance. You were always debonair and chic prior to marriage, but now that oga/madam has seen you in and out, there’s nothing more so you can choose to look like glorified grandma/grandpa, with your unkempt hair and wrapper tied loosely across your chest, or some loose boxers and singlet around the house. What happened to looking dapper as always for your prince charming/queen of your heart? See Kemi, life has happened, we now have kids and don’t have time for all that joor. Ok, but you can diss the excuses and become more intentional. Note to women, men are majorly moved by sight so you have to be extra careful and gingerly here. This doesn’t give men leeway though, because women are also moved by beautiful things.

Disrespect/laziness. Men crave respect the way they crave air. Women are not turned on by a man who is a couch potato who sit all day, folding their arms and are not willing to move a muscle. Don’t permit any of these in your marriage. Your spouse may not tolerate this for so long and before you know it, they snap.

Is any of the above too difficult to adjust to save your marriage? I have a secret for you. The way you ask for grace daily to keep walking the narrow path is the same way you should ask for grace not to do things to turn off your spouse.

Jesus at the center makes the home godly and happy.

Much love,