Today is generally recognised as Valentines day, and a celebration of love, and it leaves us with a question on our lips “what is love?” Such a deep question. A question that has sparked debates with people having their own viewpoints. I can remember when I took a poll on if love is enough to sustain a marriage, there were several viewpoints with good arguments to back them up. You can read my view on that here.

Let’s take a deeper look at what love is and how it reflects in your relationship with your spouse. Let’s have it clear first that love is not the mushy feeling or the butterflies in your stomach when you see the one your heart is connected to. Love is far from that. We will take each attribute of love in 1 Corinthians 13 and apply it to your marriage. Chill, if you’re not married, here is a bonus mark for you because you can prayerfully weave in these attributes to the fabrics of your spouse to be.

Love is patient and kind. At that moment when your spouse steps on your toes, deliberately or not deliberately, you will be patient and kind towards them and you won’t react rashly. If it were mere feelings, you’ll toss it aside for the moment and be unkind to them.

Love is not jealous, or boastful or proud. Your spouse will have achievements you might not have. The love you have for them gives no room for jealousy. You see yourselves as one and what s/he owns belongs to you as well. And if you’re the one who has an achievement, love precludes you from being boastful and proud. There is no need for arrogance or a show of superiority.

Love does not demand its own way. It is not irritable. It doesn’t keep record of wrong. There are times you and your spouse will not agree on a thing. At such times, love estopps you from insisting on your own suggestion. You’ll joyfully let your partner’s opinion stand. You won’t also be easily put off by their excesses, and you won’t keep scores of the number of times you have an axe to grind with them.

Love doesn’t rejoice at injustice, but rejoices when the truth prevails.

Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures all through circumstances. Hey, dear, it is love that will help you go through the storms that will blow. It is the love that never gives up that will bind you both when the raging tide tries hard to separate you. Feelings can’t do this for you. Feelings alone will bow in the face of the storm.

Love will last forever. Can you see that this defies your thesis that at a point in the marriage there would be no love because it will fade away, and it will be other things that will hold it together? If your marriage is built on the foundation of love, it will last forever. You know you have your part to play, right?

As I conclude, let me borrow the words of Mrs Juliet Ambali. “The love that we have come to know is one we keep digging deeper to savour what it entails. Someone you show all of 1 Corinthians 13 to daily, how will the attraction wane?”

It is Jesus at the center that makes a home godly and happy.

Much love,
Kemi.