I heard the cry of a baby from my room. I tossed and turned as I lost my sleep because the wailing was much. Isn’t anyone around to attend to this child? I thought to myself. And just as if my mind had been read, I heard the husky voice bellow, “Motun, wa gbe omo e o. O da pe o ti ya gbe (Motun, come and carry your child o. It seems he has pooped.)”

What? My jaw dropped. So there has been someone all along and this child was crying like this. So the man could not do anything to stop the wailing child but to call the mother to carry ‘her’ child like the child just jumped on her without the doing of the man. I was sad. In fact, sad is an understatement. For how long will we continue to grope in this dark mentality. For how long will men continue to refer the children of their loins as the child of their wife alone when it comes to responsibilities. For how long?


Well, I have simply used this piece of fiction to paint the reality of the things around. If you think things like this don’t happen, then read the next paragraph and let it sink in, opening your eyes to some nasty mentality people hold.

I was in a discussion with someone one day and we were talking about pounding yam or not pounding yam. During the flow of the discussion, the guy said something like my husband not paying ‘my’ children’s school fees if I don’t pound yam or cook or do the ‘traditional female roles.’ Let me sound colloquial here, ‘I weak.’ Like, I was literally weak at the words he spewed out of his mouth. So, the children become ‘my children’ in certain circumstances, not our children. I said nothing to him because to talk was to waste verbal energy.

 

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Can you see this for yourself now? This is just one of the many experiences I’ve read about. The child is crying or needs to be fed or the diaper needs to be changed, and even as little as carrying the child, and the child suddenly becomes the mother’s only. It’s even more sad when the child goes south and the blame goes to the mother, and the only time the man claims fatherhood is when the child turns out well. Like seriously? Should this thing be?

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Dear young man, the child is yours too. You’re not only there as the money-making machine of the child. There are many more responsibilities attached to fatherhood you need to prepare for. The little basic things of lulling the child to sleep, changing the diaper, feeding, and as much as training rests on your shoulders as it does on your wife. Fatherhood doesn’t end at impregnating your wife. It’s a lifelong journey beginning from the conception of the child, seeing to his/her physical, spiritual, emotional, psychological wellbeing.

You’re more than finance, man, and the child is yours too. At least, it takes two to make a child. Brace up, take up your responsibility and change the narrative.

Jesus at the center makes the home godly and happy.

Much love,
Kemi.