I know quite well that this is not a topic that is readily accepted in our clime (Africa), and most people do not even see a reason for adoption.
My first major interaction on the subject of adoption was in my third year in the university. It was a family law class, and the lecturer that taught us adoption as a topic kept hammering on the philosophical underpinning of adoption. Every class the topic was taught, she’ll mention the philosophical background of adoption. She even made us have class presentations on the topic.
“Adoption is to give a child a family, not to give a family a child,” she said, and that has stuck with me ever since.
Adoption is to give a child a family, not to give a family a child,” Click To TweetIt seems to me that in our clime, even when you broach the topic of adoption, the purpose is so that a waiting couple can have a child. More often than not, our society will rather push for a waiting couple to have a child they can call their biological child, and peradventure they do not get a biological child and they resort to adoption as an option, they refer to the child as and adopted child. A child is a child, adopted or biological, so there is no need for the label. And in some cases (I didn’t say all cases) when the family eventually gets a ‘biological’ child, the ‘adopted’ child is treated differently.
A child is a child, adopted or biological, so there is no need for the label. Click To TweetNow, this post is not me trying to tell you that you must adopt or you should consider adoption, neither is it focusing on adoption as an option for waiting couples. Adoption is not limited to those who are yet to have a child.
There was a time I saw a tweet where someone said, “If you want to have four children, why don’t you give birth to two and adopt two.” I was glad that someone actually wrote this, though some of the comments were not so welcoming of the idea.
There are a lot of children who are in need of love and a family, and if we, as a society can be more open to adoption, many children who might never know what love and a family is will get to know if they are adopted.
…but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father” (Romans 8: 15)
Since that time my lecturer emphasized the philosophical background of adoption, I’ve always had a desire to adopt someday, and even recently, I got a kind of anchor scripture for this. “…but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father” (Romans 8: 15). And I have always made one prayer that as long as Christ has brought me into his kingdom through adoption, I also ask for grace to bring into my home children in need of love, care and a family as God would have me love and care for.
In conclusion, as much as I’ve spoken about being open to adoption, I’ll advise you not to adopt if you still embrace the mind-set that adoption is a second option to be considered by people who cannot have kids biologically, or if you’ll be making a distinction between ‘biological’ children and ‘adopted’ children. Children are children however they come into your family, and they are all God’s gift.
Oluwakemi.
Wawu! Thanks for writing on this. For some month now, adoption has stayed so long in my spirit. That the love to adopt a child has so much grown in my heart. Thanks for bringing forth light on it. I am blessed and more open the more on adoption
Wow!
The pleasure is mine. All glory to God.
Nice piece, but easier said than done. Kemi, you may not know that the number of parents waiting to adopt children outnumbers the children available. Many couples today are open to adoption.
The major challenge in raising adoptive children is the children themselves. Once they get to know that they were adopted (and they must be informed else neighbours and extended family will inform them), then all hell will be let loose. They will want to know their biological parents, get bitter and resentful of their parents and generally be very difficult to live with. I know of two such scenarios and they’re not pleasant.