I have no silly ideas about being invincible. I don’t know what a superwoman is, I just know a woman who trusts God, loves God and is willing to follow God every step of the way. I have no problem whatsoever delegating things to people. –Ibukun Awosika.
A lot of women who have families they run pride themselves in how they handle everything themselves and how they carry the weight of their family upon their shoulders. What does it mean to have a helper? They can’t relate. They see themselves as superwomen who can do things themselves and who should do things themselves. From child care to school runs, to every domestic chore you can think of, to commitments they have outside the home—office, church, society, etc., they shoulder it all.
If you’re a woman and you say you can’t handle things yourself and you need assistance, it’s as if you’re a lazy and weak woman who is not ‘woman enough’. Whatever ‘woman enough’ means, I don’t know and I don’t care to know. They see asking for help as something that shouldn’t be heard of. As a woman, you need to brace up and get yourself prepared for all the responsibilities marriage and motherhood will bring your way.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying you shouldn’t be prepared for the responsibilities attached to marriage and motherhood, what I’m saying is that you should not allow anybody’s standard of being ‘woman enough’ gag you from seeking for help. There’s just enough you can do all by yourself before you begin to experience burn out. There’s just enough you’ll be able to handle before you begin to feel the weight of doing everything all by yourself which might begin to breed resentments particularly when your spouse isn’t pulling his weight to relieve you of the workload.There’s just enough you can do all by yourself before you begin to experience burn out. There’s just enough you’ll be able to handle before you begin to feel the weight of doing everything all by yourself... Click To Tweet
I think the idea of the woman doing it all alone at the home front came as a result of what was obtainable at the times of our forefathers when the men would go out to hunt for games and farm, while the women stayed back in the house to take care of the home or worked on their husband’s farms. I’m open to correction if I’m wrong on this. Now that society has evolved and we have more women working out of the home, it’s inevitable that they shouldn’t be only one responsible for the running of the home.
As a woman, asking for help is nothing you should be ashamed of. It doesn’t mean you’re weak or lazy or you’re not stepping up to your responsibility of being a homemaker, rather it shows how resourceful you are to know the responsibilities that are core to you that can’t be delegated and to outsource to others the one that can be handled by outside help. It shows that you value your physical, mental, and emotional health and you do not want to experience a burn out so you can give the best of yourself to your family.
Lovingly encourage your partner to pull his weight around the house if he is leaving everything to you. If you have kids who are old enough to carry out tasks within the home, let them do what their age and ability can allow them do. If you can afford equipment that makes life easier, by all means, get it. All in all, ask for the help you think you need. Remember, the Proverbs 31 woman who is often used as the symbol of a woman who was ‘woman enough’ had maids who helped her. She wasn’t doing it all by herself. She had the help that she needed, and you should have all the help that you need as much as you can.
SUGGESTED READ: EVEN THE PROVERBS 31 WOMAN HAD MAIDS
In the words of Chimamanda Adichie, “Ask for help. Expect to be helped. There is no such thing as a superwoman… Our culture celebrates the idea of women who are able to ‘do it all’ but does not question the premise of that praise.”
There’s no award anywhere for being a superwoman or for ‘doing it all’. ASK FOR HELP! THERE’S NO SHAME IN IT.