I’ve always wanted to write this post since last year, if I can remember clearly, but I didn’t get to work on it until now.

With social media comes the couple goals, parenting goals, and all the other goals you can think of. Truth is, social media is a highlight of the lives of people you have met, have not met, and may never meet. Not many people put out the entirety of their lives and what they do per time on social media except they are on a reality show. What you see is snippets and snippets alone.

Don’t get me wrong, this is not a ‘half of what you see on social media is fake’ post because there are genuine ones as there are fake ones. I haven’t done the analysis and I don’t know the statistics of the fake and genuine, and in all honesty, it’s not my business.

My main focus for this post is me and you who might admire to the extent of wanting to keep up. You don’t have to bother yourself if someone is living a fake life except that person is your family member. What you should be more concerned about is that you are not going under pressure because of what you see, fake or genuine. Because this is a marriage post, I’ll keep the focus at that.

You see a happy couple post that they have gone for a vacation in a luxury place, and you begin to develop high blood pressure. You begin to compare your marriage and theirs. You begin to compare your spouse with their spouse, and you even go to the extent of pushing yourself and your spouse to go over your capacity because you’ve seen your ‘goals’. You don’t know if that was their first vacation ever. You don’t know if they had to save up for the vacation they went for. You don’t know have any other information, yet you pressure your spouse and yourself because you want to keep up with a picture that was posted on Instagram. This is one example among many others that readily came to my mind.

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The grass looks greener on the side because there’s someone tending to the grass on the other side. Rather than always sticking your neck to look at the grass on the other side, why don’t you make your own grass green, not because you want to keep up, but because you know what you want for your home and the only person you want to keep up with is our Ultimate example—Christ and His church.

Am I saying you shouldn’t have couple goals—couples who are intentional about their relationship and are deliberate about changing the negative narrative? No! Am I saying you shouldn’t desire beautiful and good things that you see in other people? No! I have couples I follow on social media because what they put out is changing the popular narrative of bad marriages, and there is nothing wrong if you have them too. However, when you begin to put yourself under unnecessary pressure because you want to be like them and do the things they do and have the kind of life they have, then you’re shifting your focus and trying to keep up instead of actually living your life.

Let me conclude on this note. If there’s anybody you want to keep up with and strive to be like at all cost, let that person be Christ who is our perfect example, and who has modelled what a marital relationship should be like. Keep up with Jesus, not the Joneses.

If there’s anybody you want to keep up with and strive to be like at all cost, let that person be Christ who is our perfect example, and who has modelled what a marital relationship should be like. Keep up with Jesus, not the Joneses. Click To Tweet

Your marriage will be beautiful and built to last.

Oluwakemi.