One very important tool in marriage is money, and it is also the elephant in the room. See, I’ll be foolish to say money is not necessary in marriage because it is and it has its place, but my question is should it define your relationship?

Hear me out. This post is not for those who decide to sit back, fold their arms and choose to be financially irresponsible, waiting for manner to fall, and then opening their mouth to say money is not important and whosoever will love you will love you. Rather, it is for those who are genuinely putting in all their effort to make ends meet but things are not adding up yet.

Should money define your relationship? No. Money is a servant, not a master. It doesn’t and shouldn’t have control over you or your relationship with your spouse. It should not be the basis for which you dishonour and disrespect your partner—male or female.

I might not have experienced financial issues in a relationship, but I’ve seen enough to know that money shouldn’t be used to determine the basis of your love for whoever you’re with. The reason people use money as a weapon of control is because they see money as a controlling tool.

Is it not ridiculous if you manipulate and maltreat the person you claim to love because you have a greater earning capacity than the person? Click To Tweet

Is it not ridiculous if you manipulate and maltreat the person you claim to love because you have a greater earning capacity than the person? I find it weird when people say a woman will not respect her husband if she has more money than he does. It makes me want to slap that rubbish talk off their mouth. It’s absurd to think you will look down on your spouse because they do not earn as much as you will want them to, and the next thing you think is best is drag them in the mud.

When we stop seeing money as the all-important ingredient in a relationship, there’ll be love that is not conditional on how fat your spouse’s pocket is. Click To Tweet

When we stop seeing money as the all-important ingredient in a relationship, there’ll be love that is not conditional on how fat your spouse’s pocket is. Money shouldn’t make you disrespect your spouse. Money shouldn’t make you talk down on your partner. Money shouldn’t make you puffed up because you have more. Money should NEVER define your relationship as a couple. If there’s anything money should do, it should be your SERVANT not your master.

If there’s anything money should do, it should be your SERVANT not your master. Click To Tweet

The lack or abundance of money in your relationship should not be what will determine the atmosphere in your home. Let love, hope, trust in the Lord among many other concrete qualities be what defines your home, and you learn to be abased and how to abound, living together in love.

Again, am I saying you shouldn’t work to earn money? No! Am I saying you shouldn’t seek to make things better for your home if you’re struggling financially? No! What I’m saying is that you shouldn’t allow it define your relationship.

With love,

Oluwakemi.